J.s. Wayne - Mr. Snark is at it again
Disclaimer: I was stalked, bludgeoned, and threatened with exposure of a deep dark secret concerning my rapidly advancing male-pattern baldness to be here.
Shit!!!
Well, guess that cat’s out of the bag. *headdesk*
Seriously, thanks so much for having me today, Margie, and greetings to all your readers who came by to see what all the buzz was about. It’s a privilege to be the guest of such a talented author, and especially to be following the incredibly funny (albeit vaguely frightening) D.A. Kentner (KevaD)!
It’s been a wild two months in my world; I’ve debuted not one, not two, but three short stories for Noble Romance: “Espirtu Sancti,” as part of the Red Roses and Shattered Glass anthology, “Angels Would Fall,” and “Angel Of The Morning.” I’ve become a veteran of a blog tour featuring eight amazing authors...and me. And I’m currently awaiting word on a submitted full-length novel entitled Angels Cry, completing (he said with a sardonic laugh, knowing full well that this journey’s probably just beginning) the story arc that I began in “Angels Would Fall,” while deep in the middle of a very dark erotica novel with the working title Sinner.
During that time, I’ve met a lot of wonderful people, made some very good friends, and suffered more cranial trauma as a direct result of high-speed impacts between my skull and the working surface of my desk than I’d attained cumulatively in my lifetime. I think the damage is beginning to show in my ability to remember little details like my address, phone number, and name. And I’m starting to hear voices. What was I saying?
Aww, look at the bunny!
The Swedish Chef whispers: Hen dis morgen Romance with SASSeee, we make de bloggy pooooost. Skir dur, what de hey? A spatula thunks solidly into the back of my head, which shakes the stalled gerbil inside my skull loose, and he gets back on his wheel.
Oh, wait. There we go. I remember now!
Anyway, I’ve been trying to stretch myself more as a writer. This is always a dangerous undertaking, because it can take you in some awfully bizarre directions. Take, for example, my current situation.
A fellow writer, Jane Ellis, and I got into a snark-off. (Yeah, I started it.) A few good-natured jabs later, we found ourselves embroiled in a contest. The goal? 25,000 words. That’s not so bad; it’s only half a NaNoWriMo win. The difference is that NaNo lasts for the entire month of November.
We gave ourselves from last Saturday to this coming Saturday!
The prize is simple: the lower word count author has to write a short story of six thousand words, in a setting and featuring characters of the winner’s choosing. In my beer-fogged arrogance (or suffering from residual head trauma), I said, “No problem.” Then she informed me what I’d have to write: a M/M short.
(Insert appropriate choking noises here.)
I should have known she wouldn’t make it easy!
So as this goes to post, I’ve got to write no less than 3500 words per day. Hopefully I’ll win; I’ve already got enough plot bunnies, thanks anyway. It seems like I can’t stomp them out fast enough!
If you’d like to know more about me or my work, you can find me at Noble Romance Publishing, on Goodreads , on Facebook (Author.JSWayne) and Twitter (@jswayne702).
Thanks again for having me here today, Margie! I look forward to talking with all your wonderful readers soon!
Born in Amarillo, Texas, J.S. Wayne has lived, worked, or traveled in approximately two thirds of the North American continent and has amassed a resume that could kindly be described as “eclectic.” He currently resides in the Texas Panhandle with his wife, a vicious attack cat, and a terrier puppy who believes socks are a threat to national security. In his laughably sparse spare time, he enjoys reading, scary movies, strategy games, and collecting obsolete weapons.
His professional writing credits include two current novels, Shadowphoenix: Requiem and Wail; three short stories, “Angels Would Fall,” “Angel of the Morning,” and, as part of the Red Roses and Shattered Glass anthology of dark erotica, “Espiritu Sancti,” all currently available from Noble Romance Publishing; and a host of poetry and work-in-progress novels and short stories.
He maintains a home page at www.wix.com/jswaynesite/herebemonsters and a blog at www.jswayne.wordpress.com.
Dear J.s.,
I hope you lose the contest. I'll be cheering on Jane, and poking you constantly all week. I want to see you squirm. I also want to read what you write. Good luck with the snark-off and all the other projects you have going on. It's no wonder you're rarely sober. You're too busy. It's a pleasure to have you here and I look forward to seeing you in Vegas, cuz what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!
In all sincerity - yes, I can be sincere when bribed...it is a pleasure to have you and you're welcome back anytime.
Until the next time,
Margie
Categories: romance authors, noble romance publishing, guest bloggers, paranormal books, M/F erotica, erotica blogs, F/M erotica, paranormal romance, margie church, blog appearances, Noble Romance
Tags: guest bloggers Js Wayne Margie Church Noble Romance noble romance publishing romance with sass romance writers
JS said: "Anyway, I’ve been trying to stretch myself more as a writer. This is always a dangerous undertaking, because it can take you in some awfully bizarre directions."
I've heard Viagra isn't nearly as painful.
Hi, JS and Margie!
For what it's worth, I've read some of JS's work. It's good -- really good.
Reply to this
Funny you should mention Viagra, David, I was just mouthing off about Js needing to be shagged out of bed...or maybe it's shagged in bed? Anyway, if you don't get up at the crack of dawn (that's not his wife's name is it? *face palm* apologies if it is)...you're gonna get trashed here at RomanceWithSASS!
Thanks for coming by.
Reply to this
Good morning, David!
Speaking of Viagra: at my wedding reception, a friend gave me a dose of Levitra as a honeymoon present. When Robin Williams talked about pills that make you harder than Chinese algebra, he was NOT exaggerating!
Thanks for hanging out with me...and for the compliment! Don't suppose there's any way I could coax you into doing me a review on Goodreads?
@Margie: No, my wife's name is NOT Dawn, so you're good
Reply to this
Whew! Not that I'd change my remark...I'm kinda like that. LOL
And thanks for the TMI...glad you enjoyed!
Reply to this
ROFLMAO Great piece you two. Love your sense of humor JS. Do you think growing up in a small town help mold your delightfully snarky sense of humor?
Reply to this
Hi, Margie!
Actually, I blame my sense of humor on my father. He's a professional musician, and I learned through imitation.
I actually grew up in Rapid City, SD and Las Vegas, NV, so I kind of missed out (?) on the stereotypical small-town upbringing. Since I wasn't exactly one of the "cool kids", I learned pretty quick that being funny equaled getting to eat lunch in peace a lot more often
Thanks for being here today!
Reply to this
Oy!!! Man, oh man, you've got the challenge ahead of you -- er, well, you may not read this post until after, so wow -- hope you survived. Actually, you shouldn't be reading posts/emails/love letters/newspapers....eating, sleeping or working other than writing to accomplish that goal!
Hoping you bang out a good one. I think it's awesome you're stretching yourself -- er, both of you? Did you get to challenger her in response?
Best of luck!
Billi Jean
Reply to this
Hi, Billi Jean!
A funny thing happened: I got an unexpected email that forced me to send a groveling email to Jane, asking if we could postpone the contest until a more propitious time. Just another example of how quickly things change in my world *sigh*. But, I am proud to report that I got 1800 words done to the roughly 200 she claimed before we called it off, and I've got a REALLY funny story in the works.
I am going to go ahead and act like the contest is on, just to see if I can pull this rabbit out of the hat. I'm looking at it as good practice!
And yes, it was an equal contest: Winner dictates what the loser writes, under the conditions that it's no less than 6k and submission-ready in no more than 30 days. (More on this at Some Write It Hot on June 6th!)
Thanks so much for coming by! I hope you enjoyed it
Reply to this
Hi J.S. and Margie,
Great post! J.S. always good to read your ramblings! But I thought I should let you know that I'm routing for Jane...it's not personal, I just like to watch you sweat! LOL
>: )
Renee
Reply to this
Glad you could stop by
And what is it with my sweat? Last I checked, it wasn't Scotch
Reply to this
Good stuff here, what can I say - I heard my name and had to come see what was going on!
You're a great writer so there'll be no problems with angels may cry! The challenge on the other hand; let's just say I have the pics ready and waiting for those 2 guys.
Reply to this
Just so you know, I'm betting on you, Jane! Kick some J.s. butt!
Reply to this
To be honest, I'm kinda glad we laid it down for a little. I need to get my fingers in shape to take Jane on!
And thanks for the vote of confidence...
Reply to this
You're welcome. Did you notice your facebook wall too?
Reply to this
Morning, Margie!
Thanks so much for letting me rampage through...hope you're not too upset about the daffodils I trampled *blushes*. I love the pic you used; I keep trying to sell/give away/abandon my plot bunnies on a deserted, dark country road, but they always keep coming back!
Seriously, thanks for letting me come over and play. I can't wait for Vegas...I have a feeling this is going to be WILD!
Reply to this
You're welcome J.s. I'm looking forward to Vegas, too. And I'm billing you for the daffodils. Twerp.
Reply to this
The Czech's in the male. If it hasn't showed up in ten days...just wait longer
Reply to this
Got my lawn chair all set up. Stalker is my middle name.
Reply to this
Your wife is a vicious attack cat? You poor thing. Well, now you've called her that you should have plenty of time to win this contest. I wrote 50 words today so good thing I'm not in it!
Reply to this
Hi, Barbara! The funny thing is, despite all my foibles and failings, she still wants to hang around me! At least I'm sure she's not with me for my money
Thanks for coming by!
Reply to this
J.S.! You know I adore you, right? I'm giggling like crazy over here, already yearning for the next time we all get together and destroy a chat room.
I'm with, Margie. Love ya, but hope you fail miserably so I can read a M/M by you. I'm very picky about the authors whose M/M books I read. You should be flattered I wanting to read one by you.
But if you're not, you'll get over it.
Hey, you never know. You might actually find your calling. ::wicked grin::
Margie, I seriously snorted water through the nose with your crack of Dawn comment. I love you, you crazy woman.
:
<3
AyVee
Allure Van Sanz
Reply to this
Allure! I have chat here at SASS! We can do it any time. Kb and I have been talking about it, actually. When Hard as Teak comes out (that's my m/m you don't want to miss), we should, just cuz it's fun. and I'm glad you're siding with me against Js. Gotta get these guys somehow.
Hope you're a subscriber...I'd love to see you back.
Reply to this
Hi, Allure!
Believe it or not, I'm VERY flattered that someone would want to read an MM by me. My biggest problem so far is getting in the right mindset for it; I've found it's not nearly as easy as I expected.
I'd love to do a chat with y'all again. Anytime, anywhere, y'all just let me know!
(((((Allure)))))
Reply to this
Hi JS,
Cant wait to read your M/M short.
-toothy grin-
Sorry 'bout the male pattern baldness.
I'd share some of my Samson-esque locks with you, but hen, all my virility shall fade...
-cheesy grin-
Best of luck to ya. Your Angel series damn good reads. I look forward to the novel and to Sinner.
Reply to this
Thanks, KB!
I always appreciate you coming by; it's going to be interesting to see what happens with the projects I've got on the burner right now!
As far as the MPB, yeah, well...at least I know I come by it honestly!
Thanks for coming over
Reply to this
I wish you a prolific Muse and many contracts.
Good man. No comb overs.
99% sure I'm going to Vegas. We can discuss manly things over drinks. Even get Margie in on our conversation, which, then would probably turn over to some kind of sex tools, knowing me....
My pleasure, sir!
Reply to this
Comb-overs are VERBOTIN!!!!
and you boys aren't leaving me on the bench in Vegas..I'm sure the conversation will be suitably wonderful for the setting and purpose of our visit...I'll bring batteries. ROFLMAO...sure hope Allure can make it, too.
Reply to this
I would NEVER stoop to a combover. If I've got a six-head, then dammit, I'm breaking out the Turtle Wax. You'll need shades to look me in the eye!
Don't worry, Margie: I'm a gentleman and wouldn't dream of leaving you out in the cold when KB and I start getting boozy. I may drag you up on stage to sing karaoke, though!
Reply to this
And I just might sing with ya. I have a pretty good voice. Practice Paradise by the Dashboard Light - the song, you goon...that's a good one if you aren't trashed!
Reply to this
Indeed. Go bald before comb over.
No Way we'd leave you on the bench, Margie.
Oh..yes.. I can just imagine the convos. Especially when I have a few drinks in me.....
Reply to this
Bringing extra batteries for the tape recorder. (blackmail)
Reply to this
Eep...!
Reply to this
*toothy grin*
Reply to this
I'm trying so hard to get the money together. Even if it takes me to the end of August I'll still be taking bottles and cans back. LOL
::Hugs all around:: The thought of you all there without me is depressing!
Best,
AyVee
Reply to this
Have a fundraiser! It wouldn't be the same without you!
Reply to this